Darkness Past, Dreams Present
by Mandy Snape
Summary: Severus' past comes back to haunt him; everything in his past he has to relive horribly in his dreams...unfortunately, the dreams are just too real to be just a nightmare...*CHAPTER 3 IS NOW UP!* Not as dark as the previous chapter, but a turning point
1. The beginning of the haunting

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this and if I did, I probably would not be sitting here doing this right now. 

A/N: I have A LOT planned for this story and I'm going to update FREQUENTLY, but I really need REVIEWS in order to continue my story so pleeeeeaaaaase leave a review; as always I am open to any constructive criticism. 

Severus Snape woke up with a jolt and sat straight up in his bed. His white undershirt was drenched from sweat and so was his face where his thin, black strands of hair stuck to the side of it.

_Dreams...._

Hauntings...

Memory's past...

Torture and pain...

Severus found himself giving himself pep talks. He then decided that it wasn't healthy for him to be doing that so all he would then achieve was getting into an argument with himself. His dreams were getting worse. They were so bad now that he didn't even doubt that he might be screaming so loud that it might wake the entire castle. Maybe then someone would come and check on him. No. No one would ever worry about him. Except perhaps Dumbledore. He was a different case...

Over the past few weeks, his dreams, or as they should more appropriately be called, memories, seemed to intensify, with each following night. He started to dread each nightfall as the moon rose, for he knew he'd have to again relive his horrors from the past that would come back to haunt him. 

As he lay there staring at the dark ceiling of his private chambers, he began to think of nothing in particular other than why he was being forced to suffer. He'd already had to survive through the events once, why must he be made to live through them again? Such horrors should never have even been lived through once, and now he had to do it twice in one lifetime. There was only one solution, as there always was. Of course, in his adolescence, suicide would've been an option too, but not anymore. His one option was always to go to Albus Dumbledore. 

Severus waited in Dumbledore's office. With nothing else to do he looked around. No matter how many times he came in here, he could always marvel at the magnificent gadgets and gizmos he had lying around. Sometimes it even angered him to see how well off he was, but then he would quickly reprimand himself for thinking such a thought about a person that had been as kind to him as Dumbledore. He continued looking around and saw the familiar pensieve. Maybe that's what I need...

At those words, Albus Dumbledore came into his office. 

"Ah, Severus. As I understand it you wanted to see me?" asked Albus. 

"Yes, headmaster," said Severus. 

"Severus, I have known you many years now, and I do hope that I am more to you than just an employer!" said Albus.

"Yes, Albus," came Severus's reply. He hated it when he did this to him. "I need to talk to you about something."

"I thought as much. Please, continue." 

"In the past few weeks, I've been having these dreams that...that are about my past. They're not just dreams, though. They're brought to life; forcing me to relive the memories I have from..." Severus had to take in a few breaths before he could go on. "They're reliving everything bad I've ever had in my past, which was quite a horrific experience to have once and I do not care to live it again. It's like my past has come back to haunt me, but it's almost as bad as when it actually happened." 

Albus Dumbledore continued to survey Severus long after he had stopped talking.

"I figured you'd been having problems," Albus started, "I about fell over this morning when I heard that you didn't show up for your Potions class. Most unlike yourself."

Severus appreciated his gesture of trying to find the humor in any situation, but he found this to be a far too serious matter to joke around about. 

"Thank you for listening, Albus." Severus could not think of anything else to say. 

"Is that all then, Severus? Will you be requiring any more time off?"

"No." Severus still had to keep up his reputation in his profession, even if his, what you would call home life, wasn't going so well. He got up and decided to go back to his chambers. 

That evening, he didn't even go up for dinner in the Great Hall. His stomach's constant sound of growling told him that he was hungry, but he simply ignored it. He didn't need a full stomach to make him drowsy. All that would bring to him is more pain. Pain he did not want to bear anymore...

Unfortunately, through time, he could not stop the inevitability of sleep. And that was the beginning. What he had experienced before was nothing like the full force he would be experiencing tonight. The terror he would have tonight could never have been foreseen...

I hope that this was enough of a cliffhanger! I will get the second chapter up soon where we will find out more....muuuuuuch more! Thanks for reading! And don't forget to leave a review!!!


	2. Sadness of the past

Disclaimer: I shall repeat myself, as I have in my other stories, that I do not, repeat, do NOT own Harry Potter. That belongs to the gorgeous, fantastic, talented writer, JK Rowling. (Who I must also now say congratulations to on the new baby! David Gordon Rowling Murray!) 

A/N: Thank you! All of you who left me reviews on the first chapter completely made my day!...no no...My week! As I promised, I shall try to update frequently (hopefully! that is if I get my fuel to go on- reviews!) and now here is the next installment! Enjoy! 

__

Dreams foreshadow the future...

Dreams imitate the present...

Dreams relive the past...

Everywhere around the castle there was a warm breeze blowing, in and out of every doorway and archway. It was everywhere but the seemingly cold dungeon chambers where Severus Snape lay. He had done what he was trying hardest not to do- fall asleep. The world lay asleep, minds quiet and carefree of everything, except Severus Snape's. His mind was anything but quiet and carefree. His worst nightmares were just beginning...

Elsewhere in the castle, Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk, deep in thought. He was getting exceedingly worried about Severus. He didn't go to class earlier that day, and now he hadn't shown up for dinner in the Great Hall. He jumbled the thought of Severus's dreams around in his head, trying to figure them out. Severus hadn't made it very clear about what exactly happened in these dreams, but he had a fairly good idea about what was going on inside his head. Still, he wasn't sure. But there was a way...

Dumbledore broke from his concentrated thought and pulled open a drawer from out of his desk. From within it, he pulled out what looked like a pair of muggle binoculars, but they were more like the wizarding magical omnioculars. Conicioculars; they were silver with a lot of different button settings and a swirling projector that came out of the bottom (presumably to be able to watch without having to look into the eyeholes). 

Dumbledore examined the conicioculars and turned the buttons to different settings. At last he set them down flat on his desk. with the projector facing upwards, where he paused for a few seconds. After a few moments he said aloud, "_Severus Snape_." There was a flash and a pillar of light came out of the projector from the conicioculars. Inside the light was the distinct outline and figure of Severus Snape, sleeping restlessly in his dungeon chambers. The view, however, quickly changed as it zoomed closer to his head until finally it disappeared altogether. There was a still darkness for a moment and then a new scene began to play out. A new surrounding had appeared within the projector. The first thing Dumbledore observed through his half moon spectacles was rather surprising, for Severus had never spoken of it before. 

Albus Dumbledore was now seeing Severus's dreams...

_The dismal weather outside was very cloudy and rainy; very formidable for the event taking place that day. A soaking wet, grief-stricken Severus Snape, about eleven years old, stood, clothed all in black, over a freshly dug grave. He was standing alone, with everyone else that had come already leaving to go home. But he didn't want to leave...he just stayed there, unwilling to accept the fact. There wasn't anyone left for him. His father had abandoned him when he was a child and now, with his new heartache, he didn't know what he was going to do. He stared with his dark eyes at the gravestone that read: _

Eleanor Katherine Snape 

July 3, 1931 - July 25, 1965

Beloved Mother and Sister

_He fell to his knees and began to weep. He hardly noticed the wetness and mud covering the ground. He felt completely lost. He and his mother had been very close. She was his whole world and he was hers, but now she was gone...and so was his world. _

Loneliness consumed him. He was now to live with his uncle, Robert, a wizard that worked for the Ministry of Magic. He was so addicted to his work that he hardly ever noticed Severus was there... His mother had always found time for him. His earliest memory of her was when he had been very ill. She sang to him whenever he was in a lot of pain, and that had always put him at ease. It had been just them, and now it was just him. 

Just days after her death, Severus received his admissions letter by owl telling him of his enrollment in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, one of the highest regarded and more prestigious wizarding schools in existence. His mother would have been so proud. Severus crumbled up the letter in his fist out of anger and torment. He'd lost the only person he'd ever cared about and the only person who had ever deeply cared about him in return. 

He returned to her grave everyday to bring fresh flowers. Severus tried to get rid of his lugubrious mood whenever he visited her so she could see that he was going to be fine. But he didn't know that he would be for sure. He would just sit and talk to her and to tell her about everything that's been going on in his life. Sometimes he would just sit in silence, mourning, or maybe just hoping that he'd get a sign from her telling him that everything would be all right. 

"Oh Gods!" he shouted out one day. "Why did you do this? Why did you take her from me leaving me with nothing? I have never done anything wrong so why do you punish me this way? WHY?!" He sat there, bewildered; knowing no one would answer his pleas. He felt utterly rejected from the rest of the world with no where to go. 

Albus Dumbledore observed with concern about what was happening, or had happened. Seeking the answers to his questions, he devoted his every thought to what he was seeing as the moving pictures continued to carry out the past events.

A chapter tis done! And hopefully, if you liked it, you'll leave a review! Pleeeaaaaasssseeee? A big thanks again to everyone who reviewed! You're the ones who give me the will to go on! :) This fic is starting out small with events that happened a while ago, but soon, it will move up to more well-known events that have an even bigger impact! Also, I'm going to try my absolute hardest to update whenever I can. Spring Break for me is now over and I won't have as much free time to write, but I will do my best to at least update every week! If you get annoyed with me not updating, just send me an email and yell your hardest at me! Believe me, I will appreciate it cause it'll make me work. PHEW! Those are long notes!

One more BIG thanks going out to Travis (the cool angelic loser nerd : P ). He helped me out with a few things that I obviously needed help with. :P Can you say looo-gooo-bree-us?


	3. many fateful meetings and a turning poin...

Disclaimer: *sigh* I don't own Harry Potter or Severus Snape (oh how I wish I did though!). I also don't own anything that has to do with that magical world, otherwise I'd be rich and famous, but alas, I am not. 

A/N: I'm really, really sorry. I broke my promise of updating frequently. I'm the biggest procrastinator that I know and I haven't had any inspiration lately. Also, just to let you reader's know, I'm going away for the summer soon (see my bio) and I won't be able to update, so I'm trying to get everything in that I can right now. Thank you to all of you who have reviewed and hopefully *will* review, it makes everything worth it! Enough blabbing from me....Enjoy the chapter!

Albus Dumbledore watched the conicioculars' pictures black out and bring him to the presently restless sleeping figure of Severus Snape. This action by the conicioculars told Albus that one section of the night's dreams had ended. He barely had time to think about the events during the short interval when it stirred and once again showed that Severus had begun dreaming once again... 

_It's been a little over a month now... thought Severus. His Uncle Robert had just escorted him through the gate to the Hogwart's Express. Severus was getting ready to attend his first year at Hogwart's School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He couldn't help thinking about his mother who had just recently passed away. She would've been so proud... he thought. He looked upon the scarlet gleaming train, hoping that his new school would help him forget some of his grief. His Uncle left to go back to his job at the Ministry of Magic, leaving him to board the train by himself. This didn't bother him too much because in the last month he'd gotten use to being ignored by him. The only thing that did get to him was watching all of the other children there with their mother's and father's giving them their last minute hugs and kisses goodbye. He boarded the train and hoped that he was boarding the beginning of his new life, leaving his old one far behind. _

He sat in one of the empty compartments. He didn't know any of his peers, and thus didn't have any friends... yet at least. He looked out the window and watched the scenery fly by. He stopped and listened to the sounds going outside in the hallway. He could hear girls giggling and boys trying to show off in front of them. Great... he thought...now I have to worry about friends. Just then, as though someone had heard and felt sorry for him, someone walked into his compartment. 

It was a boy, with bright blond hair, and a face with a sort of smug on it. 

"Oh." He said, rather unconvincingly. "I didn't know anyone was in here." 

"That's ok," said Severus. "I'm Severus Snape." 

"I'm Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy," said the boy. He started talking to Severus and told him about how he hated the idea of going to such a "public" school. "And they except anyone! Even those filthy mudbloods!" Severus knew what this was, someone who didn't have any magic parents, or more respectably called muggleborns. "Are you a pure blood?" asked Lucius.

"Yes," said Snape. 

Lucius smiled. "I see we're going to get along just fine." Severus decided that, even as closed-minded as Lucius was, he at least now had someone he could call a "friend". Lucius got up, turned and gave Severus a faint smile, then walked out of the compartment. Quite an extraordinary boy...thought Severus. He turned his attention back to the scenery once again, but not for long. About one minute later, another person entered the room.

"Hello there. Is this your first year too?"

Severus looked up. Standing before him was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had dark red hair, almost auburn colored, with the most entrancing green eyes he had ever seen. He couldn't help but just look at her. 

"Hello? Did you hear me?" she asked again.

"Uh, yeah. It's my first year," he managed to get out. She giggled at him. Great... he though... Just what I need; make a fool of yourself in front of her.   


"My name's Lily. Lily Evans. What's yours?" she asked.

What a beautiful name, he thought. It fits her so well. 

"Severus Snape," he replied. 

"Mind if I sit down?" asked Lily. 

Gods...she wants to sit with me...he thought. "Go ahead". 

She sat down and started a conversation with him. She asked him questions and he asked her questions. They talked about a lot of things and for the first time, he opened up with a person. He told her about his mother dying and she didn't make fun of his openness. She just sat there, quietly listening, understanding, the one thing Severus wanted from others...understanding. Then there was another knock on the door. Four boys crammed into the room. 

"Lily! We've been looking for you everywhere! Where've you been?" asked one boy that had particularly messy hair. 

"I've been in here, talking with Severus," answered Lily. The four boys looked down at him. 

"Who?" asked another one of the boys with dark eyes and hair that had a similar look to him as the first boy. 

"Severus Snape," Severus chimed in. He was trying not to be shy.   


"Ah, right," said a third boy with light brown hair. 

"I'm James Potter," said the boy who had spoken first. "And this," pointing to the boy who had spoken second, "is Sirius Black." The boy called Sirius Black then gestured to the third boy who had spoken, "this is Remus Lupin." The fourth boy just stayed in the background. 

"Who's that?" asked Severus. 

"That's Peter Pettigrew," said the boy called Remus Lupin. "This your first year, too?" 

"Yes."

"What house do you think you're gonna be in?" asked James. Severus had heard about these houses at school, but didn't know anything about them other than it's what separated the students. 

"Slytherin, of course!" came a cold voice from the doorway. Standing there was the same boy Severus had met earlier, Lucius Malfoy. 

"Get out of here, Malfoy," said James. 

"Now now, Potter," said Lucius slyly. I do believe I met Severus first and was in here first, therefore, you should leave." 

"Oh, it's all about possessions with you," said Lily.   


"What would you know about that, you little mudblood?" retorted Lucius. Severus was angered by this, but seeing as how he wanted to fit in so badly, he decided he didn't want to be the one to be caught in the middle. Lily looked hurt, and James, Sirius, and Remus looked as though they were about to jump Lucius. Peter, unlike the other boys, didn't do anything but stand there. There's something strange about him... thought Severus... He doesn't act like the others...

"Are you gonna cry? Did I upset the poor little mudblood and her poor little mudblood-loving friends?" Lucius obviously was the type of person who loved to taunt people. Rather than fight him, Lily walked out of the room, followed by Remus, Peter, and Sirius. James, however stayed behind. He gave Severus a look that to him seemed extremely unfair. 

"You seemed to have become good friends with Lily while you had your little conversation. Yet, when scum like Malfoy comes in the room and claims to be your friend, and then hurts Lily's feelings, you do nothing but sit there. Some new friend you are," said James, dangerously. He gave Lucius a dirty look, and then left the room, slamming the door behind him. 

"That's right," said Lucius. "Leave. We don't want your kind here." 

"But-" Severus managed to get out before Lucius began again.

"Severus, I just did you a favor. You don't want to get caught up with the likes of them. They'll soil your mind. Someone like you, having to start out like this, doesn't want to have friends in low places, but in high places. That lot will most likely be in Gryffindor, but it's Slytherin you want. Slytherin's the one with the power and glory. In this world, the only thing that'll get you anywhere and anything is power. And if it's power you want, then Slytherin's the way to go." Severus was now very interested. If power could get him anything he wanted, then power's the way he'd go. 

"Power," exclaimed Severus with a smile. He could just see it now. 

"Exactly," grinned Lucius. "I told you we'd get along fine."

So this is how Severus became a Slytherin and friends with Lucius, thought Albus. It explained a lot. Albus thought for a minute. This wasn't as nightmare filled as the one before, but it was a turning point for him! Albus had just seen one of the major turning points in Severus' life. If Severus hadn't lost his mother, he wouldn't have been so insecure about his first day of school...and he would've become friends with James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Lily...he might've been in Gryffindor if his mind hadn't been corrupted and persuaded otherwise...his life would have been utterly different...

Another end to another chapter. This one wasn't as dark as the previous chapter, but this was necessary to have in the story. Albus explains it all. If that hadn't happened to our beloved Severus, then everything as we know it would be completely different. So this is one of the main causes of his "dark side". Enough of me talking.

Thank you to ALL who reviewed, and pleeeeeeeeaaaaassssse, before you go and do something else, I would absolutely love you if you left me a review. Many thanks also go out to Andrea and the refreshing taste of Mountain Dew, because it's what kept me going while writing. :P 


End file.
